Spheres of Influence, Connection, Purpose, and Truth

A number of years ago, an acquaintance of mine was heavily involved in political discussions on social media. Her entire life, it seemed, was filled with complaints about the other party, thoughts about the doom and gloom, and how corrupt the leadership was. She was the mother of several children and I observed that her children came second to her addiction on facebook. I often wondered how her ranting would influence those in political power. She and I discussed what she could do to make changes and her response was that she really could not influence those in the top, no matter what she did or said. Even so, she continued to “live” in what Stephen Covey calls the outer circles of influence. What was happening to those whom she could influence? They often were left to fend for themselves.

Where is the greatest impact a person can have on others? Often it is stated that a person can change the world, but can they really? The only people an individual can impact are themselves, their children, close family members, and friends. Or in other words, they can change only their small corner of the world through choice, influence, connection, and example. Stephen covey wrote, “The place to begin building any relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence, our own character.” Over those things, we have great power and influence. The power of individual influence increases significantly through connection, purpose, and truth when the individual focus is on the inner circle of influence.

A lack of true social connection affects everyone from the young to the very old. Many turn to anything that can satiate the pain whether it is social media, screens, drugs, alcohol, porn, shopping, or binge eating. Widespread loneliness and despair is on the rise. The BBC conducted a poll recently and found out of 55,000 people, 40% of adults between ages 16 and 24 reported feeling lonely often or very often. US suicide rates have increased by 33% between 1999 and 2017. What is causing the loneliness? A strong social connection causes the release of naturally occurring hormones that help us feel good. On the other hand, the lack of it disrupts that balance and lands the individual in a deficit; confused, lonely and unstable, they seek to fill the void with anything other than human connection such as social media, drugs, etc. It is a double-edged sword because the more they turn toward those things, the more they eclipse the true connection of human contact and connection. Those troublesome obstructions cause us to “see through a glass darkly,” and block out the warmth, the comfort, and the necessary relationships that bring hope. Neal A. Maxwell said, “When we draw other things too close, placing them first, we obscure our vision of heaven.” Jennifer Nicolaisen says, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is genuine, meaningful interactions and authentic connections and experiences with ourselves, each other, and the world around us.”

The motive behind an incessant relationship with social media, screens, and all other distractions either closes or opens the door for meaning and purpose. I am not at all against technology for making connections, communicating, or self-educating. Personally, I have been engaged in some of the best discussions within the Great Conversation on Facebook. On the contrary, using technology to distract one from responsibility, or to compare lives, or to seek cheap advice leads some away from purposefulness toward aimlessness. What is your motive and drive to seek screen time? If distraction from life is your course, you may find you have wasted a day, a week, a month having accomplished little to nothing. Or you may feel depressed, anxious, and disengaged. Craig Mod said of social media, “I am firmly in the camp that believes technology is generally bending the world in a positive direction. Yet, for me, Twitter foments neurosis, Facebook sadness, Google News a sense of foreboding. Instagram turns me covetous. All of them make me want to do it—whatever “it” maybe—for the likes, the comments.” As one wakes up to the fact they depend upon the comments and likes to fuel or fizzle their emotional and mental energy, they realize they have been stuck in the drama triangle of victimhood, blame, comparison, and distraction. Mod continues, “I can’t help but feel that I am the worst version of myself, being performative on a very short, very depressing timeline. A timeline of seconds.” The way out is to check your motive for screen time; balance the best things with a little of the good things and do away with the bad things. Individuals who focus on the inner circle of influence and who want to impact their lives and those around them find meaning and purpose to guide them; they seek to tell themselves the truth.

The draw on society to engage in moral relativism or the “your truth, my truth” syndrome is prevalent. Debates on social media of what is true or not true, what is right or wrong has turned into a surplus of rancid non-judgment and decaying acceptance to the destruction of Truth. The good news is eventually, in the end, on any given issue, all things will be bound by truth. Natural law or the law of human nature has always existed and governed man. Thomas Reid said, “First-principles [or the laws of human nature] have been written by the finger of God on the very hearts of men.” J. Budziszewski confirms there is “a law written in the heart of every human being” and this could very well be described as the Light of Christ. The essence of the moral being is inseparably connected to truth. It is only when an individual suppresses or ignores their conscience that they lose sight of the truth. Suppressing conscience is like Coleridge’s Ancient Mariner who kills the albatross, killing truth and not being set free. Thus, being enslaved. On the other hand, telling oneself the truth, living in truth, and acting on truth results in a powerful influence on self and all those in their circle of influence.

Back to my friend; after years of fulminating on Facebook, she woke up to her fruitless situation and turned toward self-education. She not only has improved her life through the empowering principles but has opened her eyes and her arms to see and love her children. She has found much satisfaction turning toward her circle of influence, is making meaningful connections, and living life with purpose and truth.

The Mission Driven Mom

For many years I have believed in the idea of Life Mission. I have had many experiences where I felt called by God to learn or do specific things in order to help others. Those have been some of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I recently ran across a book I wanted to tell you about. It’s written by a friend of mine who has studied life mission for the past several years. In her research, she found a pattern of how great men and women find their life mission–a pattern we can learn and follow to aid us in discovering and fulfilling our own personal life missions.

She teaches this pattern through the lives of the ten Boom family–an incredible family that saved over 800 lives during WWII. She shares dozens of stories to clarify and outline the 7 Laws of Life Mission that this family and many other mission-driven individuals have lived.

Her book is FREE right now on her website The Mission Driven Mom and I highly encourage you to get your own copy, read or listen to it and begin discovering and fulfilling your own God-given mission!” Once you click on the link in this paragraph, you will need to scroll down to find the link for the free book. You can also access the audio recording of the book, which is how I “read” it while taking my daily walks.

You may want to look around her site and read some of her blogs before downloading the book. Or you may want to sign up for her MDM Facebook group to hear more about what is going on and to connect with other moms who are discovering and fulfilling their mission. If you know that you want to pursue your mission right away, you will want to join her academy and get mentoring each month for a reasonable fee.

I highly encourage you to see what this is all about and get involved. Not only will you feel the exhilaration from pursuing your own mission, but your children will watch you and learn from your example.

Shakespeare's Richard III Examined

Machiavelli, the father of Modernity, seems to think that if human nature is malleable, then he can shape the common mentality into any needful tool to sanction his decisions. Truth is not what he seeks, but “truth” that the prince may put in practice and call truth. Machiavelli seems to be removing the pillar of Christianity and the Ancient Aristotelian virtues in order to create a new ruler, who acquires state without the limiting influence of Christian principles and virtues.

Machiavelli on appearances, “Let a prince then win and maintain the state — the means will always be judged honorable and will be praised by everyone; for the vulgar are always taken in by the appearance and the outcome of a thing, and in this world, there is no one but the vulgar.” It sounds harsh, but Machiavelli may be the devil’s preacher. He has projected the power to turn good men bad and bad men worse still.

From the very start, we see the evil designs of Richard’s pretentious actions in Henry VI, “I can add colors to the chameleon, change shapes with Proteus for advantages.” (Part III, III, ii, 191) The audience witnesses his crooked twists and turns as he murders anyone in his path to the throne, but deceiving the rest. Before the people, Buckingham promotes Richard’s feigned appearance as he vocally observes Richard holding the Bible, “Two props of virtue for a Christian prince, to stay him from the fall of vanity; and see, a book of prayer in his hand—true ornaments to know a holy man.” (3.7.98) The Bible, a sign of religious instruction and inspiration and a hand, the sign of good action and leadership. The meaning, of which, never enlightens the limited intellect of the people. Maybe they are duped, but their cheers are forced and weak, but that without an alternative, they acquiesced. Meanwhile, Richard is elevated by his appearances.
Richard uses subtle, notorious and murderous schemes to destroy nations, whether completely or merely reduce the minds of whole nations to ignorance. Richard III is Shakespeare’s attempt to display the evil intrigue. As Machiavelli might say of him, he has “always led a wicked life at every stage,” (Prince, VIII, 51) and had a Machiavellian virtue of mind that he rose through the ranks and has been “determined to become prince and to hold with violence and without obligation to others,” (51) as he kills all in his way. Continuing to the end of the play, one witnesses how Richard III “maintains [his kingdom] with many spirited and dangerous decisions” (52) And yet, Machiavelli would say that Richard did not follow his advice. He did his treacherousness with “brutal cruelty and inhumanity and his infinite wickednesses do not allow that he be among the most excellent men.” (52)

Apparently, Richard ought to have studied more faithfully his master teacher, Machiavelli, for he did not surround himself with barons, rather, he killed everyone who surrounded himself…except for Buckingham. (IV, 25) Additionally and according to Machiavelli, Richard would have best attempted to do all the injuries together to appease his observers. What “taste[s] less…offend[s] less” (VIII, 55)

Quote: The Process of Understanding

"Sometimes when reading or studying or listening, I catch a glimpse of ideas and connections beyond my current understanding. At times these ideas are nascent and ephemeral--mists that have not yet solidified (if they ever will). It is as if figures are coming together on the periphery of my vision, and I fear that if I look at them directly, the forms will dissolve into vaporous ribbons and float away. Some passages of Scripture like that – for a moment I can grasp a spiritual truth or significance that swells beyond my comprehension. I'm encouraged by the fact that even apostle Peter said that Paul was hard to understand. "but sometimes even a convergence of thoughts, words, spirit, conversation, circumstances, and time solidifies those periphery shapes into concrete understanding – into wisdom that causes a change of heart, habit, or practice." ~ Greg Wilbur, Circe magazine 2017

Don't Judge an Unread Book

My daughter attended a youth discussion with a mentor and she told me she had a good time. I wanted to know more, but it appeared she had nothing consequential to share with me and as a result, we changed our discussion to other matters such as Christmas plans, etc. However, the next day, as I was working on some studies, she came to me with a funny smile, “Mom, do you believe in what Plato said?” I said yes, but in my mind, I was thinking that my real answer would be loaded and deep. I kept my head turned toward my studies but began to think of what I really wanted to say to her. I turned and asked her about her query and she opened up her heart and mind to me in a genuine investigation. She recounted her experience the day before and apparently, the mentor had said that Plato’s works were bad, but that Aristotle’s were good. My daughter had read both Plato’s Republic and Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics in a class I taught and over the course of two months, we gleaned many great things from both of the authors. Notwithstanding, we did discuss some of Plato’s strange ideas about educating children and the family unit, which is pretty much non-existent according to Plato. I would venture to say that those ideas and maybe one other would not be congruent with the Proclamation of the Family or the commandments of God. However, Plato’s discussion on Justice, his treatise on educating the philosopher king, his scolding of Glaucon’s promiscuity, his allegory of the Cave, and his ending testimonial lead the reader to believe in his goodness. Why would a mentor undertake to turn youth away from one of the greatest sages of all time? I think this is the case where one throws out the baby with the bath water.

I listened to my daughter try to figure out what to do with herself in a future situation like the one she experienced. She kept asking me what she could do when she knows that what the mentor is saying is not all truth and is using rhetoric that persuades youth to not even touch a certain author that my daughter has learned to love. I listened and listened and listened. As she spoke, I remembered Ralph Waldo Emerson in The American Scholar who talked of the idiocy of being a “parrot of other men’s thinking.” Many of us are caught up in the pretense of scholarship and feel so good about ourselves when we repeat the “knowledge” we get from hearing others. Unfortunately, I am not exempt from being a parrot at times. Ugh. It is one of my goals to improve.

My mind started wandering to Plato. At the end of the Republic, Socrates presents a choice for the individual to decide if he will be Just or Unjust. A person “will then look at the nature of the soul, and from the consideration of all these qualities he will be able to determine which is the better and which is the worse; and so he will choose, giving the name of evil to the life which will make his soul more unjust, and good to the life which will make his soul more just; all else he will disregard.” In other words, after examining each quality or vice, we need to discern whether they will lead us to a just life or an unjust life. For me, this is an excellent discussion to have with youth. Again, why would I want to discount Plato to youth?

Socrates’ final counsel in the Republic might be one of the greatest discussions, “Wherefore, my counsel is that we hold fast ever to the heavenly way and follow after justice and virtue always, considering that the soul is immortal and able to endure every sort of good and every sort of evil. Thus shall we live dear to one another and to the gods, both while remaining here and when, like conquerors in the games who go round to gather gifts, we receive our reward. And it shall be well with us both in this life and in the pilgrimage of a thousand years which we have been describing.”

Ah! What beautiful things Socrates had to say (Plato wrote them down and now he gets the credit). My advice to my daughter was to keep reading, annotating, writing and speaking up. My advice to you, dear reader, is to do the same, but to never discount an author unless you have read him and learned what he was really saying.